Biscuit Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Legendary Mythics UNITE!

Chapter 11: Blocks Everywhere, Plans Mostly Intact

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

He smiled.

Not a warm, friendly smile. The kind of smile that means someone has already read the last page of the book and knows exactly how it ends. He tucked his golden clipboard under one arm, pushed his glowing violet glasses up his pale lavender nose, and called out in a voice like someone announcing a very important weather event.

“Endermites! SCATTER PROTOCOL SEVEN!”

For exactly one second, nothing happened. Then the courtyard exploded with tiny purple shapes.

They poured out of cracks in the endstone walls, out from under purpur pillars, out of gaps I was absolutely certain hadn’t existed a moment ago. Hundreds of them — no, thousands — each one the size of a bread roll and twice as wiggly. And every single one of them was carrying something. A bundle of rainbow wool here. A glowing sea lantern there. Chunks of amethyst tucked under what I can only describe as their front bits.

“The blocks!” Biscuit gasped, grabbing my sleeve. “Ollie, they’ve got ALL the blocks!”

She was right. In roughly eleven seconds, every material we needed for the Elegance Duel — the same materials the Ender Earl had smugly offered as the riddle prize — vanished into a purple, wriggling tide. The Endermites scattered in every direction, teleporting in little bursts of violet light, and when the last one blinked away, I could see five small dark islands floating in the void around the courtyard, each one lit up faintly with the glow of scattered materials.

The Ender Earl straightened his purpur crown with one finger and made a small tick on his clipboard.

“This dimension is MINE,” he announced, “and I have it in writing. You had your riddle contest. You have — ” he checked his clipboard, ” — approximately forty-two minutes before sunrise disqualifies you from the Elegance Duel entirely. Good luck navigating five islands with no map. Toodle-oo.”

Then he walked inside, shut the endstone door, and I heard the very precise sound of seventeen locks clicking into place.

Chapter 12: The Most Accidentally Elegant Build in History

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

I mean, yes, I had also fallen off three of them, and Biscuit had nearly frozen solid trying to choose between two equally fast routes back to the main platform, and at one point I accidentally communicated something to a group of Endermites that made them carry the sea lanterns away from me before I corrected whatever I’d said. But we had all the materials. Every single one. Rainbow wool, sea lanterns, and amethyst blocks, all crammed into Biscuit’s truly miraculous backpack.

“Forty-two minutes when we started,” Biscuit announced, consulting the little hourglass she’d pulled from her bag, “which means we now have eleven minutes and — oh no.”

“Eleven minutes is great!” I said, only partially believing it.

The Elegance Duel platform was enormous — a flat stretch of endstone as wide as Sproutville’s entire square, glowing faintly purple in the dim End sky. Two building zones were marked out with thin lines of amethyst dust: one on the left, one on the right. The Ender Earl was already in his zone, working in absolute silence. His structure was breathtaking. A symmetrical tower of purpur blocks, each one perfectly aligned, rising in neat identical tiers. Sea lanterns placed at exact intervals. Everything level. Everything square.

It was the most organized thing I had ever seen. I hated it a little bit.

I stepped into my zone, set all the materials in a careful pile, and immediately tripped over the pile.

Chapter 13: Sand in Every Pocket and Zero Good Directions

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

I was halfway through a piece of toast — honestly the best piece of toast I’d made in weeks, perfectly golden, not even slightly on fire — when the Crown buzzed against my head like a very small, very insistent bee. It had been doing that more since the Ender Earl’s tournament, pulsing with this warm amber light that reminded me of three candles on a birthday cake. Three villains down. Two to go before it reached full legend glow.

“It’s pointing southwest,” Biscuit said without looking up from her notebook. She had seven lists open simultaneously, which I know because she’d numbered them. “Specifically toward the Desert Sea. Specifically urgently.”

“How do you know it’s urgent?”

“It’s buzzing.” She finally looked up. “Also your hair is standing up even more than usual, and that only happens when something important is about to occur.”

I touched my head. She wasn’t wrong.

We packed up camp quickly. Biscuit had the Sunstone Map spread on a flat boulder, and even I could see the problem — the golden lines that traced the path across the Desert Sea were going faint at the edges, like ink left out in the rain. The Crystal Oasis glimmered at the map’s center, still bright, but the route to reach it was disappearing one sand dune at a time.

“How long do we have?” I asked.

Biscuit sniffed the map. “Smells like warm sandstone and something slightly panicked,” she said. “Maybe half a day before the path markings fade completely.”

I picked up my pack. Then I looked at Biscuit. Then — and this was the part that would have surprised the old me, the Chapter One me who fell into fountains and charged forward without a single thought in my head — I said, “What’s the plan?”

Biscuit stared at me for a full three seconds. Her mouth did something complicated.

“Did you just ask me for a plan before running toward something?”

“I might have.”

“Before falling into anything?”

“Nothing has come up to fall into yet.”

She pressed her lips together very firmly, but I could see her trying not to look absolutely delighted. She cleared her throat. “Right. Yes. I have four plans. Plan One involves the shade crystals shown on the map — we collect them along the route to stay cool and also to mark our path as we go. Plan Two involves—”

“Plan One sounds excellent,” I said. “Let’s do Plan One.”

Biscuit wrote Ollie asked for plan. Personal triumph. Note for records in her notebook and snapped it shut.

Chapter 14: Grumbleton’s Very Bad Day

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

One second I was walking beside Biscuit, checking the Sunstone Map while she sniffed the air and muttered something about shade crystals smelling like cold lemonade. The next second, a wall of spinning orange sand appeared from absolutely nowhere and swallowed us whole.

I tumbled sideways. Then backward. Then sideways again, which I was pretty sure wasn’t physically possible, but the desert didn’t seem to care about physics. The tornado spun me around three times, made a sound like a very large sneeze, and then dropped me face-first into a sand dune that was unfortunately not soft at all.

“I meant to do that,” I said automatically, into the sand.

The dune did not respond.

I sat up and looked around. The sky was pale yellow and blazing hot. The Champion’s Crown — still glowing with its three villain-victories worth of warm light — had somehow ended up on backwards during the spin. I fixed it. Three separate dunes stretched in three separate directions, and Biscuit was absolutely nowhere.

“BISCUIT!”

Silence. Then, very faintly, from somewhere behind the tallest dune: “I’M FINE. I HAVE PLANS. SEVERAL PLANS. HOW MANY DO YOU NEED?”

Chapter 15: Captain Cactus Hears a Song

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

We’d slipped through a crack in the fortress wall about six minutes ago, which was honestly a miracle considering I’d already tripped over two of my own footsteps and nearly sat on a cactus trap. The fortress interior was enormous — a cavernous sandstone pyramid filled with towering shelves carved directly into the walls, every single shelf packed with stolen goods. Diamonds sorted by size. Wool organized by colour. Iron ingots stacked in perfect pyramids. It would have been impressive if it wasn’t so deeply, completely wrong.

“The vault has to be deeper in,” Biscuit murmured, consulting the list she’d started writing the moment we entered. It was already three pages long. “The shade crystals we collected should help mask our heat signatures from the Sand Minions, but we need more time. Significantly more time.” She looked at me in a way that meant she had seventeen plans but none of them were quite right yet.

That’s when we heard him.

Chapter 16: The Crystal Oasis and a Cactus Who Smiled

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

I stood at the entrance to the main vault, the Champion’s Crown warm on my head, and took the deepest breath I’d ever taken in my entire life. Three victories were glowing inside that crown already — Baron Blaze, Wither Wanda, the Ender Earl — and each one had taught me something. But this felt different. Because Captain Cactus wasn’t angry the way the others had been angry. He was sad the way that comes out sideways and ends up looking like stolen crafting supplies and misplaced sandstone slabs.

“Ready?” Biscuit whispered beside me. She had her backpack clasped shut, her lucky button right on top where she could reach it. She’d been carrying that button since Chapter Five without ever once using it sensibly, but tonight I noticed her fingers weren’t even hovering over it nervously. She looked calm. Decided.

I nodded. “I have a plan,” I said.

Biscuit’s jaw dropped so far it nearly hit the sandstone floor. “You have — I’m writing this down —”

“Biscuit.”

“Right. Yes. Let’s go.”

Chapter 1: Upside-Down and Absolutely Fine

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

I was crossing the village square, minding my own business, thinking very important thoughts about whether pigs preferred rain or sunshine (the answer, according to my friend Gerald the pig, is “neither, we prefer mud, Ollie, honestly”), when my left foot decided it had somewhere more interesting to be than underneath the rest of me. Down I went — arms spinning, blue tunic flapping — straight into the village fountain with a splash that soaked three chickens, one confused librarian, and a very startled flower pot.

“I meant to do that,” I announced to no one in particular, sitting in the fountain with water streaming down my messy brown hair.

That’s when I heard the screaming.

Chapter 17: The Ground Is Shaking and That Is Not Ollie’s Fault This Time

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

“Ollie,” she said, clutching the straps of her enormous backpack as the path beneath our feet shuddered again, “I want to be extremely clear that this is not one of your accidents.”

“I KNOW,” I said, very relieved. “I haven’t even tripped yet today.”

“It’s nine in the morning.”

“It’s a personal record.”

The Rumbling Ridges stretched out ahead of us — a wide, rocky landscape striped with deep orange cracks where warm light pulsed up from somewhere far, far below. The rocks were dark and jagged like giant broken teeth, and little wisps of steam shot upward without warning, making the whole place look like a pot of soup coming to a boil. A very large, very dangerous pot of soup. The Champion’s Crown on my head buzzed with a warm, steady hum — the kind it had made right before we’d found Captain Cactus’s fortress, and before we’d walked into the Ender Earl’s courtyard, and before about seventeen other moments I’d rather not think about too hard.

Four villains down. The crown glowed brighter than I’d ever seen it.

But right now, something else was glowing too.

Chapter 2: The Sheep Who Stole the Show

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

I was too busy trying not to trip over a particularly sneaky root to answer her. I managed it. Barely. I considered this a personal victory and did a small celebratory hop, which is when I tripped over a completely different root. Some victories are complicated.

“Watch your feet,” Biscuit said helpfully, about three seconds too late, as she adjusted the enormous backpack bouncing on her shoulders. She had packed it that morning while reading from a list titled Things To Pack, which was itself on a list titled Lists I Need Today. I had counted at least four separate bags of crackers going in. Biscuit believes crackers can solve most problems. She might be right.

We’d left Sproutville before sunrise, still thinking about those scorch marks near the fountain square and the faint smell of redstone machinery Biscuit had detected. Somebody had taken every map in the village, and that somebody had left a very specific kind of mess — the hot, sharp-edged kind. But the Wool Festival couldn’t wait for us to figure that out. Rainbow Meadows needed help now.

Chapter 18: Seven Vents, Five Artifacts, and One Spectacular Sneeze

March 29, 2026 by kylebamboo

I could feel the rumbles through the soles of my boots as Biscuit and I sprinted across the Rumbling Ridges, the volcanic rock cracking and hissing beneath us like the whole landscape was annoyed we’d shown up. Which, honestly, was fair. We had shown up uninvited. Again.

“Four vents sealed!” Biscuit announced, checking her list at a full run, which is an impressive skill that I have never once managed. “Three remaining — northeast, northwest, and the big one at the ridge peak. Fizzwick has been at vent two, but I re-capped it while you were talking to that magma sprite about his feelings.”

“He had a lot of feelings,” I said, slightly out of breath. “Very valid ones, actually.”

The Champion’s Crown buzzed against my forehead, warmer than usual. Four villains down, and its glow had been getting steadily brighter since the Ender Earl — but right now it was doing something new. It was pulsing, like a heartbeat that had just had a very alarming piece of news.

I didn’t get to think about that for long, because we rounded a boulder and nearly ran face-first into an army of Magma Cubes.

There were dozens of them. Big ones, medium ones, and a frankly concerning number of tiny ones bouncing along in a line like a very dangerous conga. They filled the entire path between us and the northeast vent, jiggling and glowing and blocking the way completely.

“Right,” I said. “Wool of Wonders. Magma block disguise. I’ve got this.”

Biscuit’s eyebrows went up. “You’ve successfully become the correct block roughly forty percent of the time.”

“That’s a much higher percentage than when we started,” I pointed out, and I pulled the Wool of Wonders from my pocket before she could argue.

The warm, shimmery fabric rippled over me. I felt the familiar tingle, held my breath, and thought very specifically: magma block, magma block, please be a magma block and not a hay bale or a dirt block or that one time I became a bookshelf—

I looked down at my hands.

Glowing orange. Cracked and warm. Magma block.

I actually gasped out loud. Biscuit made a noise that sounded like a proud sniff combined with shock combined with someone trying very hard not to cheer.

“Don’t say anything,” I told her. “I’ll lose it.”

I walked straight into the Magma Cube army. They bounced around me, completely unbothered. One of the bigger ones bumped into me, squinted with its tiny cube eyes, and then bounced away. I gave Biscuit a thumbs up from inside the disguise, which probably looked extremely strange, but she understood.

She darted around the outer edge of the army while they were focused on not-noticing me, and we met on the other side, both slightly out of breath and grinning enormously.

“You were a perfect magma block,” Biscuit said.

I nearly tripped over a pebble from pure happiness. “I know.“